I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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