Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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