i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
