hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
