Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
