At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
