you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize