I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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