all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
