it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
