they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
