her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He? As in you personified your dick?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
