Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
pop tarts are not kleenex
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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