i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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