Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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