why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
