you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
