No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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