nut hugger
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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