fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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