why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
