i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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