I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
