I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
