She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
