She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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