How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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