No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
