Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
