I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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