I bet he comes in French.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
