The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
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It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
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This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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