hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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