remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
