Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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