I'm going to jail i love you
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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