do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
