And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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