just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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