Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
