You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize