My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
