I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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