oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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