im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
