i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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