i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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