i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
