I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
