3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
