If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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