is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
