She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
