So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
