just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
