Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
