Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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