The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
