I will die if light touches me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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