He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
