PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
