Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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