I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
