I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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