I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
