and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
