Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Vodka?
Forever.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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