i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
